The Hassles Of Big Dinners
by LifeSpiralz
Summary: Important note inside for the readers of this story. We regret to inform you that the authoress will not be with us anymore...
1. Bad Dreams

The Hassles Of Big Dinners

As if the last two times weren't bad enough, Delia decides to make a big dinner. And this time everyone from the last two messed-up meals are invited! Is there any possible way to avoid the obviously oncoming pandemonium?

Life: YAAAAAY! YOU CAME! So many people asked for--and a couple demanded--that I write another sequel so here it is! The Hassles Of Big Dinners!!! By the way, did any of you know this sequel to a sequel was coming?

In case you didn't notice, this is the sequel to "The Hassles Of Big Lunches" which is the sequel to "The Hassles Of Big Breakfasts" and I'd suggest you read those two before reading this one because it will help you understand a lot of inside jokes in here. Anywayyy, let's move on!

Some smart person noticed that I had put in two readers for my last story and wanted in. And she got in. Hope you're happy, Elizabeth! No, really! Anyway, if you want in too, fill out the form at the end of this chapter and review to let me see it! But I'm only getting ONE more person because I don't want to have too many people in there to confuse me. So if you really want in, send soon!

Okay, story time!

1: Bad Dreams

_Ash walked across the giant tabletop, not recognizing the black surroundings. "Where am I?" he wondered out loud._

_A whooshing noise made Ash look up, and what he saw made him gasp. A giant plate full of food was slowly coming down on the table. It would crush him._

_Ash dived out of the way, barely being missed by the earth-sized plate heaped with waffles. He stared at it in wonder._

_"NO DIBS!" a booming voice sounded from somewhere behind Ash. Ash turned and saw a humongous Gary sitting at the end of the table, fork in hand._

_"It's a giant Gary!" Ash cried. He dived into the plate of waffles to hide._

_Giant Gary boom-laughed. "DIBS WON'T EAT IT FOR YOU, ASHIE BOY!" he boomed. He lifted his giant fork and speared the waffle Ash was hiding under._

_"Help! Someone help me!" Ash cried. He jumped off the plate and ran to the other side of the table. Resting his hands on his knees, he caught his breath and looked around. Giant Gary was gone._

_Suddenly, a shadow fell over Ash. He looked up and saw a colossal Delia holding up a whomping orange soda which looked like seventy million liters. She was about to set it on the table. On Ash._

_"Mom! Don't do it!" Ash cried as he ran away. "I'm your son!" He barely made it out of the way before the soda thumped down hard on the table, making him lose his footing and go flying._

_Ash landed, hollering all the way, into a giant glass of red water. He accidentally tasted it and realized it was sweet. "It's Kool-Aid!" Ash exclaimed. Then a large chunk of white stuff the size of a TV fell on his head. "And that's...sugar?!!" He looked up and saw a humongous Jenny sprinkling sugar over him into the glas of Kool-Aid._

_"SHE'S GONNA DRINK ME!" Ash screamed. He shoved one side of the glass, trying to knock it over. Finally he succeeded, and spilled out in a Kool-Aid wave onto the table. Seeking safety, Ash darted away and tripped into a giant spoonful of eggs. Ash buried his Kool-Aid-soaked self up to his neck in the eggs and listened._

_Nothing._

_"Phew!" Ash sighed, wiping his forehead with an egg-covered hand. "I'm safe."_

_As soon as he said it, the spoon jerked and rose. Ash looked up in fear and saw a titanic-sized Pikachu holding the spoon. "Mmm, eggs!" it happily boomed._

_"No! Pikachu, don't eat me!" Ash begged. "I'm your friend!"_

_Pikachu shoved the spoonful of eggs into its mouth._

"NOOOO!"

Ash fell off the bed, dragging the covers with him. He rolled over and over on the floor as if he was on fire, trying to escape.

Finally, Ash woke up. He jumped to his feet, expecting to be inside Pikachu's giant throat.

He was in his room.

"It was...a dream?" Ash said in disbelief. He stared around, trying to get his bearings. Then he grinned.

"It's just a nightmare!" Ash exclaimed, dancing around the room. "Gary's not gonna spear me! Mom isn't gonna squash me! Jenny's not gonne drink me! And Pikachu--"

Ash turned. Pikachu was peacefully sleeping on the floor in a blanket curled into a bed. Ash picked up Pikachu and twirled around the room with it. "And you're not gonne eat me!"

"Pikaaa," Pikachu grumbled, glaring at Ash through sleepy eyes.

Satisfied that he was no longer in danger, Ash put Pikachu down and sat on his bed. He thought about the breakfast and lunch that had inspired his nightmare. The breakfast was a total mess, and the lunch was plain cut off. But Ash was pretty sure his mother had learned her lesson about making big meals and inviting a bunch of people to it.

Yep, Ash thought to himself as he stretched and laid across his bed, he was pretty sure his mother would never make a big meal again.

But he was in serious denial.

Life: Okay, the first chapter's done! Please forgive me if it was way short and isn't as funny as the others were, but it's just starting out and I have to get into a flow. Anyway, if you want in on the story, fill out this form:

Name: Age: Hair: Eyes: Personality: Outfit: Fav. Pokémon: Fav. Character: Hometown: Anything else you think I should know about you:

must be a Pokémon city or town

Life: Got it? Great. See you next time!

Life

Oh, yeah, previews...

Problems arise

"Mom, _tell _me you are not seriously considering doing this!" Ash pleaded.

"What's wrong with it?" Delia asked, still holding the orange soda. Ash tried not to look at it.

"Well, Mo-om," Ash whined, "the last two times were awful!"

Delia smiled at her son. "Well, that's what the dinner is for! To make up for my messed-up meals! Come on, now, Ash Honey, this can't be as bad as the other two."

_Oh can't it? _Ash thought miserably.

Okay, seeya!


	2. Surprise Plans

Life: Welcome back everybody!!!

Kelly: Somebody shoot me.

Life: Anyway, it's about that time, guys! Let me tell ya, it was so hard trying to pick one person out of all the possible potentials (that's what took me so long), so I just wrote a chapter and put each person in it. I finally picked the person I felt I could make the funniest character of in my story. So, the person I picked is...um, hang on...oh here it is! Okay, the person I picked is...BouncyBluePenguin2!!! The OC Lia, as well as Elizabeth is joining the cast in Chapter 3. For those who did not make it, they will be put in a future story (which IS coming) so everybody's happy! Now, on with the story!

Kelly: Anybody got a gun? Anybody?

===

2: Surprise Plans...Bad Ones

Ash stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen. Every time he woke up, no matter how sleepy, somehow he automatically went to the kitchen.

Ash sank down into a chair at the dining room table. Pikachu jumped up on the table and sat beside him.

Delia entered the kitchen with a big smile on her face. "Good afternoon, dear!" she said. "I would say good morning but it's 3:15 in the afternoon. So, would you like both breakfast and lunch?"

"Yeah, sounds great," Ash said with a yawn.

Delia's smile never faded. "Then that makes three meals I have to prepare!" she said.

"Three?" Ash questioned, his head beginning to sink towards the table.

"Yes," Delia answered, grabbing her apron and kitchen tool belt off of a counter. "Your breakfast and lunch, and the big dinner! I'd better get started!"

"Oh," Ash yawned, and his head hit the table. Then immediately it shot back up, nearly twisting off his neck. "Mom," he began in a quavery voice, "d-did you just s-say a b-b-b..._big _dinner?"

Delia nodded happily. "Oh, it's going to be wonderful, Ash Honey!" she exclaimed. "Why I've got the menu all planned out. Six kinds of meat, seven side dishes, five kinds of vegetables, Italian bread, and of course, the good old soda!" She pulled a five-liter bottle of orange soda, which was almost half her height, out of nowhere and held it up. "Nine other drinks, too!"

"Mom, _tell _me you are not seriously considering doing this!" Ash pleaded.

"What's wrong with it?" Delia asked, still holding the orange soda. Ash tried not to look at it.

"Well, Mo-om," Ash whined, "the last two times were awful!"

Delia smiled at her son. "Well, that's what the dinner is for! To make up for my messed-up meals! Come on, now, Ash Honey, this can't be as bad as the other two."

_Oh can't it? _Ash thought miserably. Was there any way to stop his meal-making mother? Hadn't she learned her lesson before? Would someone have to spill something on _her_ before she realized what a bad idea this was?

"Who's coming?" Ash asked, almost afraid of the answer.

"Well, let's see," Delia said. "I invited everyone from the lunch and dinner, plus two teenagers I met while grocery shopping!"

Ash's head fell on the table again. But this time it was from despair, not tiredness.

There was no way around it. There would be a big dinner, then a big mess, and definitely a big fight somwhere. These big meals were just such a _hassle_!

And what was next?

A big midnight snack?

===

Life: Another successful chapter!

Kelly: We'll see.

Life: Please come back for Chapter 3! And now for previews!

=The guest list keeps going and going and going...=

"You know, this is a very nice house," the girl near the door said.

"Thank you," Ash replied. "Now can I ask you a question?"

The girls both nodded.

"Who the heck _are_ you??"

Seeya!

=Life


	3. More Early Guests

Life: Thanks for coming back!

Kelly: But the question is..._why_ did you come back. I've given you repeated warnings...

Life: Kelly, watch it...

Leien: Uh, story time!

---

Three: More Early Guests

Delia flipped to the next page in her photo album. She smiled at the picture of Ash sitting at the table with a birthday cake in front of him. He had a huge smile on his face, and a fork in his hand. Ten lit candles stood tall on the cake.

A knock at the door made Delia look up from her photo album. She was about to get up, but Mr. Mime swept his way to the door and opened it before she could stand up.

"Hey, Mimerella," a familiar voice said. "Is Ms. Delia home?"

Delia walked to the door and brightened when she saw the two familiar faces. "Jenny! Maia!" she exclaimed. "How wonderful to see you again! Come right in!"

Maia happily bopped in. Jenny followed.

"What brings you here so early?" Delia asked.

Jenny explained why they were in Pallet Town. Brock had chased Maia down all over the place, loudly declaring his psychotic love, and Jenny had come to the rescue. Her eyebrow twitched as she mentioned Brock.

"Oh, my," Delia said. "Well, Brock is a very woman-appreciating teen!"

"Aw, just say it, Ms. Delia," Jenny said. "He's a womanizer."

Somebody made a lot of noise as they fell down the stairs for the second time. Delia turned. "Ash?" she called.

"Y-Yeahhhh," Ash groaned. He ambled into the room, rubbing his back. "Jenny? Maia? What're you guys doing here?"

"Nice to see you again, Drool Face," Jenny said cheerfully.

Ash let out a yell. "Not again!" he cried, putting his hands up to his face.

Jenny laughed. "Just kiddin'," she assured him. "You don't have anything, drool or otherwise, on your face." Then her face turned serious suddenly. "You're not inviting Brock the Weirdo, are you, Ms. Delia?" Jenny asked.

"We'll tie him to a chair if need be!" Delia assured her cheerfully.

"No..." Ash squeaked. He had hoped his mother had forgotten.

Ash peeked out the window again. Still no sign of anyone. His hopes rose just a little. Maybe his mom had been playing a cruel joke on him, and there wasn't going to be a big dinner. That wasn't too far a stretch, was it?

"What are you looking out the window for, dear?" Delia asked, poking her head out of the kitchen. A big cloud of steam poked its head out with her.

"The guests," Ash said, hoping Delia was about to say "Just kidding!" or say he was on Candid Camera.

Delia smiled. "They should be arriving soon. By the way, do you still want breakfast and lunch?"

Ash put a hand on his stomach. "Suddenly I'm not so hungry, Mom."

"All right!" Delia said. "And if anybody comes, get the door!"

Ash slumped down on the sofa. He didn't even want to be here, and he _still _had to be the doorman? Why was life so unfair to him?

Delia left him to get to cooking. Pikachu stayed in the living room with Ash, Jenny and Maia and sat on the sofa, totally uncaring about the plans that Ash felt were sure to be a disaster.

A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. Ash stayed where he was, hoping he was just dreaming.

The door rang again.

"Ash!" Delia called. "Please get that!"

Ash didn't move.

The door rang five quick times, then it rang again five times.

"Ash Ketchum!" Delia said, raising her voice. "Get that door!"

Ash finally motivated himself enough to slump to the door. He opened it with dread.

Two girls stood in front of him. "Hi," the first one said. "We're here for dinner."

Ash looked at the clock. 3:47. He looked back at the girls. The first one had light brown hair just below her shoulders and blue eyes. The second had brown hair and green eyes was in all black.

"We know we're a little early," the second girl said, "but we really wanted to get here fast. I'm kinda psyched! You know, I've never been to a large meal in my entire life. It sounds so fun!"

Ash almost laughed at that. "You wish," he muttered. "Well, come in anyway, I guess."

"You know, this is a nice house," the first girl said.

"Thanks," Ash said. "But can I ask you a question?"

They nodded.

"Who are you?"

The first girl burst into laughter. "That's funny," she said. "Anyway, I'm Elizabeth Thompson and this is my pen pal Lia."

"I'm Jenny." Jenny had suddenly appeared, and she was looking at Lia with a weird smile. "Nice to meet you, I think."

"I'd say the same, but I don't feel like it," Lia said.

Both girls smiled at each other.

Maia came up and introduced herself too. Maia and Elizabeth seemed to like each other a lot, while Lia was getting along considerably well with Jenny.

Ash just wanted it all to be a dream.

---

Life: Another chapter finished!

Leien: Great!

Kelly: The best part was when it was over.

Life: We'll see you next time!

And previews, of course...

(Misty calls Gary...)

"Could you please try not to eat anything Ash puts dibs on this time? Ms. Ketchum wants a non-hazard dinner."

"You got it. But Ash always does dibs in his head. How'm I s'posed to know when he dibs something?"

"He'll stick a fork in it like the last two times."

(and Ash calls Brock...)

"Maia's coming? Ohhh, my everlasting love has returned! Ash, you can be sure I'm going to be there in ten minutes!

"But, Brock, it's only ten, and the dinner isn't until--"

Click.

"--Six."

That's in the next chapter, "All Around Call Around"!

Life, Leien & Kelly


	4. All Around Call Around

Life: Welcome back!

Leien: Enjoy the story!

Kelly: Wake me up when the bubbliness ceases.

===

Four: All Around Call Around

"Hello?"

"Hi, Brock."

"Hey, Ash! How's it going?"

"Fine. Are you still in Pallet Town?"

"Yeah. By the way, how did you know my Pokégear number?"

"Memorized it. Anyway, listen Brock, my mom's makin' a real big dinner tonight, and she wants to invite a bunch of people including you. You coming?"

"Sure! Your mom's a great cook! Say, uh, who else's coming?"

"Me, Pikachu, Misty, you, Gary, Professor Oak, Mom, Tracey, Jessie, James, Meowth--can you believe she wants to invite them?!?--Jenny, Maia, two new girls."

"Maia? Ohhh, my everlasting love has returned! Ash, you can be sure I'm going to be there in ten minutes!"

"But, Brock, it's only four, and the dinner isn't until--"

Click.

"--Six."

==

"Oak residence, Gary Oak speaking."

"Hi, Gary, it's Misty."

"Hey, Misty, how ya doing?"

"Pretty good. Gary, Ms. Ketchum's making a big dinner at her house tonight, and she's inviting everyone from the lunch and breakfast. Ash just called and invited me, and he asked me to call and invite you and Professor Oak and Tracey. Want to come?"

"'Course I do! When is it?"

"Well, dinnertime. At six, I believe. And pass the message on to the others. See you there, then, okay?"

"Okay. See ya, Misty!"

"Bye! Oh, Gary?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you please try not to eat anything Ash puts dibs on this time? Ms. Ketchum wants a non-hazard dinner."

"You got it. But Ash always does dibs in his head. How'm I s'posed to know when he dibs something?"

"He'll stick a fork in it like the last two times."

==

"Team Rocket, Jessie speaking. Who is this?"

"Hello, Team Rocket. I had a feeling you would be near this payphone!"

"Who is it, Jess?"

"It's the twerp's mother!"

"Whadd's she want?"

"I was wondering if you'd like to come to my big dinner this evening!"

"Us tree?"

"Yes! You three seemed to exceedingly enjoy my big lunch, so I decided to call you and invite you to my big dinner at six!"

"A d-d-dinner! Oh, we'll be there!"

"Yes! Will you have Kool-Aid?"

"Of course!"

"Den we're all comin'!"

"Yeah!"

"See you then, Team Rocket!"

==

"I still cannot believe Mom invited _Team Rocket_."

===

Life: Another chapter completed!

Kelly: So tortured.

Life: The next chapter is when everybody arrives!

Kelly: Just think when Maia and Jenny see Brock, and Ash sees Gary and Team Rocket, and James sees the food.

Life: Insanity galore!

Leien: Yahoo!


	5. Brock's Love And Jenny's Annoyance

Life: Welcome back, my fellow readers/writers/everything elsers!

Leien: Here's another chapter to the story!

Kelly: Oh, yay. Excuse me, I'm about to have a stroke because I'm so excited.

===

Five: Brock's Love And Jenny's Annoyance

"So, Mom, what're you making for the dinner again?" Ash asked cautiously.

Delia turned and gave him a big smile. "Well, let's see...baked chicken, fried chicken, sauteed chicken, a roast, macaroni, pasta and macaroni and potato and fruit salad, green beans, corn on the cob, turkey, potatoes baked and mashed, soup, sirloin steak, two different casseroles, fried rice...and of course the Kool-Aid and soda! I'm making so much I'll have to start cooking right now!" Delia immediately disappeared into the kitchen.

Ash checked the clock. 5:41. "Why?" he moaned, putting his head in his hands.

"Why what, Drooly?"

Jenny had come into the kitchen, hair in a ponytail.

"Mom had to go and make another big meal," Ash said. "With what happened the last two times, this time is sure to be pure mayhem! Gary'll probably eat _everything _I put dibs on _again_, and she _had _to invite Team Rocket! I mean, what if they try to steal Pikachu?"

"They'll probably just pack their faces," Jenny predicted.

Someone knocked on the door. Ash stood up to get but was bowled over by Mr. Mime, who hurriedly swept its way to the door and opened it.

"Hey, Ash!" Brock greeted.

"Hey, Brock!" Ash said from the floor.

Jenny narrowed her eyes when Brock came into the room. "It's _you_. The psycho ladies' man," she said.

Brock put his hands up. "Hey, I told you. I'm not like that anymore," he said.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "Oh, yes, Brock, now that you've told me that, I am _so_ confident in you. After all, I trust you with my life," she said sarcastically.

"Who is that?" Maia asked, coming into the room.

Brock's face turned romance red. "Maia! My love! It's you!" he declared as he sailed for her.

One moment he was sailing on one tiptoe across the floor to Maia. The next he was sailing facedown in the direction of the living room. Jenny had casually stuck a leg out.

"Phew," Maia said.

The doorbell rang. And rang. And rang. And rang--

"_All right_!" Ash yelled as he stomped to the door. He threw it open.

"Hey, Ash!" Misty greeted.

"How's your digestive system, Ashie Boy?" Gary put in as he followed Misty inside.

Ash glared at Gary's back as the three of them headed back into the kitchen. Jenny was sitting at the table with Lia, suspiciously watching Brock pick himself up off the floor. Before Ash could sit down, though, someone banged on the door.

"Argh," Ash growled under his breath as he stomped to the door and opened it.

===

Life: Chapter's finished!

Kelly: I'm not sure how you managed to read it all.

Life: Please come back for the next chapter!

They were invited but no one else really wanted to see them...

The room fell silent. Everyone stared at Team Rocket like they were aliens.

"What?" Jessie demanded. "We were invited like you all!"

"What possessed Ms. Ketchum?" Brock said, half to himself.

_And not even Jessie can stand up to_ _Jenny..._

Jessie glared at Jenny. "Who gave you the right to talk to us like that, you older twerp?" she demanded.

Jenny smirked and crossed her arms. "Who gave you the right to look like there's ketchup squirting out of your head?"

Jessie's face flamed with anger as she grabbed her hair. "I'll have you know that this will be _the _hairstyle someday!" she yelled.

"Yeah, if you live in hell," Jenny replied.

Coming in Chapter Six, "Straight Jackets May Be Needed"!

Life & Co.


	6. Straight Jackets May Be Needed

Life: I'm really sorry it took me so long to update. I've had a lot of unfunny things happening to me lately, including that both my sister and I have been hospitalized recently, and it's kind of hard to write humor in a hospital. But I'm back now, and I'll try to get back on the ball. This chapter is inexcusably short, but I am going to post a long one tomorrow, I promise. Anyway, please enjoy this chapter!

* * *

Six: Straight Jackets May Be Needed

"You knock," Jessie ordered.

"But I don't want to!" James protested in a whiny voice.

Jessie sighed and smoothed her hair. "You don't expect _me _to knock on the twerp's door, do you? Now get yourself over there and _knock_."

James slowly approached the door. He raised a fist--and then turned and ran back.

"You idiot!" Jessie yelled. "Can't you even knock on a door?"

"I don't want to! What if Pikachu electrocutes us?" James whined.

"Dey wouldn' do dat cuz da tweyp's mudda 'nvited us," Meowth reminded.

James crept up to the door again. He stared at it in fear.

"Argh!" Jessie growled. She came up and threw James out of the way. "You are such a moron!" She banged on the door.

Ash opened it and scowled out. "You don't have the right to knock so hard unless you're the police," he told them with a glare.

"Out of my way, twerp," Jessie said, shoving him aside and sauntering in. James and Meowth followed.

The room fell silent. Everyone stared at Team Rocket like they were aliens.

"What?" Jessie demanded. "We were invited like you all!"

"What possessed Ms. Ketchum?" Brock said, half to himself.

Everyone moved slightly away from Team Rocket, except for Lia, who was just watching them with one eyebrow raised. Ash glared at them as he went into the kitchen to check on dinner's progress.

"I hope you guys don't plan on eating Ms. Delia out of house and home this time," Jenny said to them.

Jessie glared at Jenny. "Who gave you the right to talk to us like that, you older twerp?" she demanded.

Jenny smirked and crossed her arms. "Who gave you the right to look like there's ketchup squirting out of your head?"

Jessie's face flamed with anger as she grabbed her hair. "I'll have you know that this will be _the _hairstyle someday!" she yelled.

"Yeah, if you live in hell," Jenny replied.

No one dared interrupt. Even Maia and Elizabeth. They just watched.

"I don't _believe _your nerve!" Jessie shouted. "You come in here with a plain-Jane ponytail and accuse _me_ of having a bad hairstyle?!"

"Yes, because I don't look like a doofus," Jenny answered, not raising her voice a notch.

Jessie looked like a beast ready to strike.

"Now, Jessie, there's no reason to fight--" James tried to interject.

"_You shut up_! _I'll deal with her_!!" Jessie roared at him. She turned to face Jenny, smoke pouring from her nostrils.

Misty got between them. "All right, you two, stop it!" she ordered. "Miss Ketchum is going through all the trouble to make a nice meal for us and we have no right to ruin it before it begins! If you guys really want to fight then do it outside where nothing gets broken, all right?"

"I wasn't planning on fighting anyhow," Jenny said.

"I _WAS_ PLANNING TO," Jessie growled.

The doorbell rang, and the spectators breathed sighs of relief. Mr. Mime swept its way to the door and opened it.

"Well, hello, everyone," Professor Oak said as he came into the house. Tracey followed.

"Hi, Professor!" Ash said as he came out of the kitchen. "Hi, Tracey!"

Tracey waved cheerfully. Both he and Professor Oak had no idea what had just gone down. But, unfortunately for them and everyone else, more pandemonium was right around the corner.

In dinner.

* * *

Life: And there ends another chapter! 


	7. Meal Memories

Life: Next chapter is here!

(Kelly is sitting in a corner, bound and gagged)

* * *

Seven: Humorous Memories

Note: Long flashback chapter!! Please enjoy regardless!

"Gather round the table, everyone!" Delia sang as she poked her head into the living room. "Dinner is ready to be served!"

Everyone walked into the dining room, with those who were so eager to run being restrained. They all sat down.

Note from Life: Seating chart! Delia-Ash-Brock-Gary-Tracey-Misty-Elizabeth-Maia-Prof. Oak-Jenny-Lia-Jessie-Meowth-James-Delia. Pikachu's on the floor under Ash's chair.

"I'll be right back, everyone!" Delia said. She hurried into the kitchen.

Silence. Then Ash burst out, "Thirteen people plus Pikachu and Meowth! This is insane!"

"Will you be quiet?" Lia snapped.

Ash slumped in his chair. "This is insane," he muttered.

"Well, I'm looking forward to this!" Professor Oak said. "I didn't make it to the lunch, but from what I hear, it was quite the occasion!"

"Yeah, several supposed attempts on people's lives were made," Jenny said. "Speaking of which..." she eyed Misty, who shrank back in her chair. "Don't worry, Misty. As far as I'm concerned, you get a clean slate. For now."

"Gee thanks," Misty muttered.

"A big lunch?" Elizabeth said. "What did you eat then?"

Dutifully Maia recited the list. "Grilled cheese, soup, hamburgers, cheeseburgers, fries, chips, cookies, and Kool-Aid and soda."

"You remember that?" Lia asked.

Maia nodded happily.

"I remember that the meal was cut off because of a certain stupid twerp," Jessie cut in suddenly.

Ash blushed. "Well, it wasn't my fault!"

"Sure it was!" Jenny replied. "You thought I put poison in Misty's Kool-Aid, so you retaliated by knocking over every glass of Kool-Aid you saw!"

Flashback...

Misty lifted the glass to her mouth.

Ash gasped. She was about to--!

The next few moments seemed to move in slow motion.

"NOOOOOOO!!" Ash slow-motion cried He slow-motioned himself out of his chair and dived over Jenny, slowly knocking her backward. Her foot hit the table and upset three plates of food as Ash threw his arms forward and knocked Misty's glass out of her hand. The red Kool-Aid splashed all over Maia's hoodie and Gary's sleeve. Maia slowly let out a squeak and accidentally slow-motion threw her glass of Kool-Aid in Gary's lap. Trying to avoid it, Gary's hand knocked into his glass and he splashed his Kool-Aid on James.

There was silence. Then Delia interrupted. She looked angry.

"Ash Ketchum, _what_ is the meaning of this?!" Delia cried. "Why are you making such a mess?!"

"I-I saw Jenny put something in Misty's drink!" Ash defended from the floor. "It had to be poison or something! I was only trying to save her!"

End flashback...

"He did?" Elizabeth asked. "You thought it was poison, Ash?"

"Well..." Ash was sinking farther into his seat.

"It was only extra sugar I was putting in my own glass," Jenny said. "But Ash blows everything out of proportion. That's why I like him so much. He's weird."

"_I'll _tell you what's weird," Brock said. "The dib fights!"

"The _what_s?" Lia asked.

"Something that will _not _happen today, right guys?" Misty asked, giving both Gary and Ash a look.

"What happened?" Elizabeth asked. "Was it funny?"

"More like frightening," Misty said emphatically.

Flashback...

"This waffle looks good," Ash heard Gary say. Quickly he sat up.

"Don't touch that waffle!" Ash yelled, just before Gary took a bite out of it.

Gary glared at him. "Why not, Ash?" he demanded.

"Because, I just said I was going to eat it!" Ash protested. "See, I even have syrup on my plate and everything!"

"Whatever," Gary said. He cut off a piece of the waffle and ate it.

"_Stop_!" Ash roared. "I _said _I have dibs on the last waffle!" he fumed.

"Too late, Ashie Boy, 'cause I just took a bite out of it!" Gary taunted. "Ha ha!"

Ash lunged at Gary, butterknife in hand. No one would take his waffle!

"Ash, do you wanna chill?" Misty said from her seat beside Professor Oak. That stopped Ash, and he slumped in his chair angrily as Gary ate the waffle triumphantly.

Ash reached for a sausage when he noticed that there weren't any. "Hey, there was a sausage on this plate!" he said.

"What, you mean _this _one?" Gary taunted, holding up a small piece of sausage.

"Argh!" Ash growled. "Not again! I already had dibs on that!"

Misty secretly slipped Ash's butterknife out of his hand.

"Dibs? Dibs don't matter if you don't _eat _it!" Gary said. He ate the last of the last sausage in front of Ash's angry eyes.

Misty pulled Ash's fork away from him as well.

"MO-OM! GARY ATE _MY _SAUSAGE!!" Ash cried.

"Ash, I have plenty more sausage waiting on the stove," Delia replied primly. She disappeared into the kitchen and returned with more sausage as if to prove her point.

Gary smirked at Ash and got another sausage.

Ash reached for the big, juicy burger he had put dibs on. He wanted to eat it now. Only...it wasn't there.

Ash's head immediately swung around to face Gary. Gary was eating a big, juicy cheeseburger.

"GAREEEE!" Ash screeched. "I HAD DIBS!!"

Gary smacked loudly to anger Ash. "I coulda sworn we've already been through how useless dibs are," he said as he bit into the cheeseburger.

Gary will PAY before lunch's over, Ash promised himself as he glared at Gary. If looks could kill, Ash would have been wanted for murder.

End flashback...

Lia stared at Ash, and then at Gary. "You really did that? What's the matter with you guys?" she asked.

"So that's what I missed the first time," Jenny said. "I do hope that doesn't happen today."

"I'll tell you something _I_ don't want to happen today," Gary said.

Flashback...

Brock looked up and saw Jenny. "Huh?" he said. Then he realized, he was struck.

"Ash, watch out!" Misty cried.

It was too late. Brock crashed into Ash, sending them both to the floor. Brock got up, rubbing his head and feeling quite embarrassed, until he spotted Jenny again.

"AH!" Brock cried. He stepped on Ash's head to grab Jenny's hands. His face turned romance red. "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever laid eyes on! I am drowned in your radiant beauty!"

"Get off me or I'll drown you in the sink!" Jenny ordered.

Ash dragged his head out from under Brock's foot. He stood up, rubbing it.

Misty sighed and looked up at the ceiling. "When will you give me a break?"

"You know Ash or something?" Misty asked her.

Jenny eyed her suspiciously. "I just met him. Is there a problem with it?"

Misty shook her head. "No, of course not. My name's Misty, and this is Brock and Gary. We're all Ash's friends."

"Why are you his friend, you womanizer?" Jenny asked Brock bluntly.

"I'm not a womanizer!" Brock protested. Then his face turned red again. "You're my only love!"

"If I only had a weapon..." Jenny trailed off. "Just do not touch me again. My name's Jenny."

Ash was the only person sitting between Brock and Jenny. Brock saw this as his chance. He got out of his seat, skipped across the room, and grabbed Jenny's hands again.

"I could've sworn I said keep your hands off me!" Jenny yelled at him.

"I couldn't help it! I love you!" Brock said, lost in Dreamland.

"Well, I most certainly don't even _like _you!" Jenny replied.

Brock stroked his chin and smiled. "Playing hard to get, eh? That's all right. I can wait!"

For just a moment, shoving Brock's head into the soup tureen was tempting to Jenny. She probably would have tried it, too, if Ash hadn't come back with a girl trailing him.

Brock thought he saw another chance to try and win Jenny over. So he got out of his chair and leapt in lovestruck strides to Jenny's side. He grabbed her hands again.

"Do I need to punch you for you to get the message?!" Jenny yelled at him.

"There is nothing either of us can do against fate! I swear by the sun, moon and stars that I will win your heart!" Brock pledged dramatically.

"Get away from me," Jenny said.

Everyone except Brock did just that.

"There's no use denying it!" Brock said, his face so romance red that it was nearly aglow. "Someday you too will admit that you and I were meant to be together!"

Crack!

Waterfall tears streamed down brokenhearted Brock's cheeks. Jenny had just slapped him across the face. "NO!" he cried. He melted into a puddle of despair. "What will I do without my true love?"

Brock cleared his throat. "I have to go, too," he said.

"Why?" Ash asked.

Brock's face turned romance red. "Because I just realized that Maia is my true love!" he said. He skipped out the door on his tiptoes, hearts in his eyes and swirling around his head.

Ash, Misty, Gary and Pikachu stared after Brock with a poor-Maia-I-hope-she-gets-away look.

End flashback...

"Wow," Elizabeth said, staring at Brock like he was an alien.

"And he looks like he'd be mature, doesn't he?" Jenny commented.

"Hey, what am I, an item on display?" Brock protested.

Misty looked at Gary. "I didn't know that ever bothered you, Gary," she said. "You never said anything about it."

"Because he was too busy stealing all the food I put dibs on!" Ash cried.

Elizabeth giggled.

"Dibs won't eat it for you, Ashie Boy," Gary said exasperatedly.

Ash shuddered, thinking of his nightmare.

"I don't think I missed anything," Lia said. "You all sound kind of psychotic."

"Gee, thanks for the compliment," Gary muttered.

"Is there a problem?" Lia asked, staring hard at him.

"Nothing that your disappearance wouldn't fix," Gary sighed.

"Say that again over here," Lia dared.

Gary stood up, walked over to Lia's chair, and stood beside her. "Nothing that your disappearance--"

"Dummy," Jenny muttered.

Lia hit Gary in the neck with her arm and knocked him onto the floor. Jenny slapped her a high-five. "Nice one," she said.

Gary glared at Lia, then went back to his seat and plunked himself down.

Ash was secretly cheering Lia.

* * *

Life: Phew! That was a long one!

Leien: Anybody need water?

Life: All right, we'll see you next time!

* * *

Extreme measures to keep the guests safe...

"What's that camera for?" Elizabeth asked.

Delia mounted the camera on the wall behind Ash. "It's an idea Gary gave me. I would like this dinner to be safe and accident-free so I'm going to videotape my son and make sure he doesn't try to smuggle any food away!" She held up a hand-sized TV monitor she'd had in her pocket.

Ash blushed and slid down in his seat as several people snickered. Gary seemed to be enjoying the moment the most.

And just what did Pikachu get? Maybe you can guess...

Delia left and came back with a plastic container in her hand.

"What's that?" Ash asked.

"Something for Pikachu!" Delia said. She loosened the top and handed it down to Pikachu.

Pikachu pulled the top off, and its eyes danced when it saw...

That's next in chapter 8, "A Shadow Of Insanity"!


	8. A Shadow Of Insanity

Life: Welcome back! Sorry for the wait. Can you say "Writer's Block"? Anyway, here's the next chapter!

* * *

8: A Shadow Of Insanity

First Delia came out with a large tray. Arranged on it were seven different drinks, including orange soda and red Kool-Aid. She put that in the middle of the table, pulled out the heavy-duty linen napkins, gave two to everybody, and went back into the kitchen.

"What're these for?" Ash wondered aloud, holding up his napkin.

"In case you soil your underwear again," Gary snickered.

Ash glared at Gary.

"Gary," Misty said in a warning tone.

Jenny rolled her eyes.

"I'll be right out, everyone!" Delia sang from the kitchen. "There's just a lot of food to bring!"

"Do you want some help, Ms. Ketchum?" Tracey asked.

There was silence. "I didn't think of that," Ash said.

"Sure, Tracey!" Delia said. Tracey got out of his chair and went into the kitchen.

Five trips later, all the food was piled on the table. Steam rose and practically made a heat wave. Ash and James were drooling all over their plates. The people sitting beside them were scooting away.

Delia left and came back with a plastic container in her hand.

"What's that?" Ash asked.

"Something for Pikachu!" Delia said. She loosened the top and handed it down to Pikachu.

Pikachu pulled the top off, and its eyes danced when it saw the giant mound of tasty-looking eggs inside.

"Just in case!" Delia said. "I want to make sure everyone has an abundance of his or her favorite foods!"

"That would be anything edible for you, right Ashie Boy?" Gary sneered.

"Gary!" Misty and Ash yelled in unison.

Mr. Mime came out of the kitchen with a little tub full of flatware and the broom and a camera tucked under its arm. It thumped the tub onto the table and handed the camera to Delia.

"What's that camera for?" Elizabeth asked.

Delia mounted the camera on the wall behind Ash. "It's an idea Gary gave me. I would like this dinner to be safe and accident-free so I'm going to videotape my son and make sure he doesn't try to smuggle any food away!" She held up a hand-sized TV monitor she'd had in her pocket.

Ash blushed and slid down in his seat as several people snickered. Gary seemed to be enjoying the moment the most.

"Well, it sounds like you people had a wonderful time before," Lia said sarcastically. "Wouldn't it just be terrible if weird stuff like that happened this time."

"It wouldn't be terrible, it'd be expected," Jenny replied.

"So, when can we eat?" James asked eagerly.

Delia sat down in her chair. "I suppose after Mr. Mime hands out the silverware," she said.

Mr. Mime swept its way around the table, handing everybody a knife, a fork and a spoon. Then it swept its way around again, handing out glasses. Then it swept itself over to stand next to Delia's chair.

"Mom!" Ash said. "How come I have a butterknife and everyone else gets a steak knife?"

"Another one of my brilliant ideas, pal," Gary said. "I don't think you're responsible enough for a steak knife, especially after you tried to kill me with that butterknife the last time, so I made a suggestion to your mom. We want a normal dinner, or as normal a dinner as we can get with you here, don't we?"

"Gary!" Ash, Jenny, Misty, and Lia yelled.

"Gary, I'm gonna kill you," Ash growled over the mountain of food.

Elizabeth giggled.

Jessie sighed. "Can we just eat before their rivalry gets us all killed or worse, starved?" she complained.

"Certainly!" Delia said. "We can all start dinner now!"

Pikachu had already dug into its eggs happily. It was becoming an egg fiend.

* * *

Life:Well, that's the end of the chapter! -yells- Leien, have you found her yet?

Leien: -voice muffled- Uh, no not yet!

Life: Well hurry up! We can't let her ruin--

Kelly: -appears beside Life suddenly- Everything? -evil grin-

Life: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!


	9. Note

We regret to inform the readers of LifeSpiralz's stories that LifeSpiralz will not be writing anymore. For the past month, said authoress has been waging a battle against lung cancer, and one week ago today, she lost the battle.

LS's mom


End file.
